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The dust of their arrival hadn't yet quite settled. Syeira had certainly expected a rougher welcome, but it hadn't been the small war she'd been prepping herself for, even before she had convinced Maglor to try and sail. Still there was a lot going on. Not the least of it was explaining herself. Being not of Arda had caused a bit of a stir, and she'd find herself having to explain a lot of things. At times, she missed the anonymous simplicity and easy acceptance of their life in that eastern beach.
Truth be told, though, the Valar barely fazed her with their questioning. Gods weren't as humbling or intimidating as the woman who was her mother in law. Not that she'd been anything but welcoming and kind to Syeira. More it was that her opinion meant more than any other, and Syeira hadn't actually gotten it. Not in full.
So armed with a tray of tea and a light meal, to smooth the way (she want above a bribe ok), she stepped into Nerdanel's work room, clearing her throat to announce herself, since her hands were too full to knock.
"May I come in?"
Truth be told, though, the Valar barely fazed her with their questioning. Gods weren't as humbling or intimidating as the woman who was her mother in law. Not that she'd been anything but welcoming and kind to Syeira. More it was that her opinion meant more than any other, and Syeira hadn't actually gotten it. Not in full.
So armed with a tray of tea and a light meal, to smooth the way (she want above a bribe ok), she stepped into Nerdanel's work room, clearing her throat to announce herself, since her hands were too full to knock.
"May I come in?"
Nerdanel looks up distractedly from where she was bent over her latest project, but beams to see Syeira.
"Syeira! Yes, come in dear. Let me..." she looks around, before tidying a small table where they can sit.
"And you brought tea! Thank you."
"Syeira! Yes, come in dear. Let me..." she looks around, before tidying a small table where they can sit.
"And you brought tea! Thank you."
"I didn't make any of it, I promise." Her cooking skills had only moderately improved in the years alone with Maglor, and her lack of culinary talent was no secret. Making a good impression certainly wouldn't happen if she bought bland food and over steeped tea.
She sets the tray down and suddenly she has nothing useful to do with her hands. So one gets raked through her hair, and then hovers awkwardly, before she settles on putting them behind her back.
"I just thought you might be hungry."
She sets the tray down and suddenly she has nothing useful to do with her hands. So one gets raked through her hair, and then hovers awkwardly, before she settles on putting them behind her back.
"I just thought you might be hungry."
"I'm sure you're not that bad dear!"
Nerdanel pushes a couple of notebooks off to the side to allow them both to sit, shooing Syeira to the other chair.
"Why, that's very kind of you to say so. Thank you. Here, shall I pour us the tea? Is all going well with your adjusting?"
Nerdanel pushes a couple of notebooks off to the side to allow them both to sit, shooing Syeira to the other chair.
"Why, that's very kind of you to say so. Thank you. Here, shall I pour us the tea? Is all going well with your adjusting?"
'Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valar will fence Valinor against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains. On the House of Fëanor the wrath of the Valar lieth from the West unto the uttermost East, and upon all that will follow them it shall be laid also. Their Oath shall drive them, and yet betray them, and ever snatch away the very treasures that they have sworn to pursue. To evil end shall all things turn that they begin well; and by treason of kin unto kin, and the fear of treason, shall this come to pass. The Dispossessed shall they be for ever.'
So said Namo. Those words echoed in Feanor's mind once his body ceased to exist and he woke within that Vala's Halls. They chased him and clung to his steps everywhere he went. He doesn't expect to ever be Reborn.
But time does pass. Some wounds heal. Some even learn. Feanor is nothing if not curious and eager to learn all he can, so he can master it. He faces every challenge squarely.
...And...Eventually...A door opens before him, leading into Light that he'd almost forgotten exists. Air. Grass. Wind!
He tips his head back, standing a few paces from the door, and just remembers how to breathe. So many senses to remember! His mind hadn't forgotten, but this is a new body with all it's innocence.
Nerdanel. He must find her. All else is secondary. He must...
So said Namo. Those words echoed in Feanor's mind once his body ceased to exist and he woke within that Vala's Halls. They chased him and clung to his steps everywhere he went. He doesn't expect to ever be Reborn.
But time does pass. Some wounds heal. Some even learn. Feanor is nothing if not curious and eager to learn all he can, so he can master it. He faces every challenge squarely.
...And...Eventually...A door opens before him, leading into Light that he'd almost forgotten exists. Air. Grass. Wind!
He tips his head back, standing a few paces from the door, and just remembers how to breathe. So many senses to remember! His mind hadn't forgotten, but this is a new body with all it's innocence.
Nerdanel. He must find her. All else is secondary. He must...
Nerdanel the Wise, they call her, who turned from her husband's path. Nerdanel the Widow, Nerdanel the Faithful, who stayed when her family went.
But Nerdanel herself does not feel wise - if she was truly wise, surely, she could have found another road?
She is faithful, yes, but not the way they mean it, when they call her that. The Ages pass, the years rolling by unnoticed by most, and Nerdanel's home fills with statues of the lost as she waits. In the days of their youth their love was as fire, hot and heady and reckless. In the ashes of what their marriage became though, Nerdanel waits, tending the embers of what was and hoping.
One day, maybe, her boys will come home. One day, maybe, her husband, also.
Nerdanel is Faithful - in more ways than one.
Slowly, one by one, the Halls release their dead. And then, one day... the news is brought to her, that at last, her final hope is revealed.
She stands at the Gates of Return and waits, hands twisting around themselves, and waits to see what her own heart will say, when confronted with the impossible.
But Nerdanel herself does not feel wise - if she was truly wise, surely, she could have found another road?
She is faithful, yes, but not the way they mean it, when they call her that. The Ages pass, the years rolling by unnoticed by most, and Nerdanel's home fills with statues of the lost as she waits. In the days of their youth their love was as fire, hot and heady and reckless. In the ashes of what their marriage became though, Nerdanel waits, tending the embers of what was and hoping.
One day, maybe, her boys will come home. One day, maybe, her husband, also.
Nerdanel is Faithful - in more ways than one.
Slowly, one by one, the Halls release their dead. And then, one day... the news is brought to her, that at last, her final hope is revealed.
She stands at the Gates of Return and waits, hands twisting around themselves, and waits to see what her own heart will say, when confronted with the impossible.
His heart tells him where she is before he sees her. He wears very little, but it doesn't matter. It's beneath his notice. Feet bare, just the slightest inner robe, unadorned, covers him.
He's strong enough to run. And he does, following his heart, hair wild in the wind as he ignores everything, everyone except her.
He doesn't ask, though perhaps he should. She is HERE. And without a word of greeting or ask for forgiveness, he reaches for her to pick her up and pull her close.
Even a fool can learn if given enough time to brood.
He's strong enough to run. And he does, following his heart, hair wild in the wind as he ignores everything, everyone except her.
He doesn't ask, though perhaps he should. She is HERE. And without a word of greeting or ask for forgiveness, he reaches for her to pick her up and pull her close.
Even a fool can learn if given enough time to brood.
She has barely any warning before there is a flame before her, and she gasps in surprise as he picks her up, and the cold embers that she has tended to so carefully flare to joyful life.
"Feanaro!"
She prostests.
"Feanaro!"
She prostests.
Has he ever given all that much warning?
Feanor laughs at her protest but eventually sets her gently back on her feet, though he keeps his arms wrapped around her waist.
Then he sobers a little, looking into her eyes. "You have waited a long time. Was it worth it?"
Feanor laughs at her protest but eventually sets her gently back on her feet, though he keeps his arms wrapped around her waist.
Then he sobers a little, looking into her eyes. "You have waited a long time. Was it worth it?"
Good point.
She looks up at him from the circle of his arms and shakes her head, eyes bright with joyful tears.
"You fool. I waited for you for so long! Why are you always so stubborn?"
She looks up at him from the circle of his arms and shakes her head, eyes bright with joyful tears.
"You fool. I waited for you for so long! Why are you always so stubborn?"
He leans their foreheads together, smiling crookedly with a lighter heart than some might say he deserves.
"I am a fool. I was never more a fool than to ignore you in those last days." See? LEARNING!
The smile turns to more of a grin. "Would you have me be any other way?"
"I am a fool. I was never more a fool than to ignore you in those last days." See? LEARNING!
The smile turns to more of a grin. "Would you have me be any other way?"
She kisses his cheek fondly.
"You were, you are, oh Feanaro! I missed you."
"You were, you are, oh Feanaro! I missed you."
Not letting go of her, nope.
"And I you. Can we go home?" He'll deal with everyone else later. His wife trumps everything else right now.
"And I you. Can we go home?" He'll deal with everyone else later. His wife trumps everything else right now.
She leans against him, learning again the shape of him, hands running up his sides and cupping his face.
"Yes." She murmurs and leans up to kiss him again. "I've so many angry words for you husband. But first, let's go home. Together."
"Yes." She murmurs and leans up to kiss him again. "I've so many angry words for you husband. But first, let's go home. Together."
She can touch any part of him she wishes. He turns his head just enough to kiss a palm, then back to return her kiss.
"I will listen to them all." Because she has the right to yell at him for all he'd done. Feanor tightens his hold on her before loosening it to let her move freely.
"I will listen to them all." Because she has the right to yell at him for all he'd done. Feanor tightens his hold on her before loosening it to let her move freely.
She smiles at him and tucks her arm through his.
"Good! Are you tired? Hungry? I brought you clothes."
"Good! Are you tired? Hungry? I brought you clothes."
"I've never made anyone ill, but the best I usually manage is passable."
She nods, because it would be odd to refuse, even though her instinct was to say she didn't want to be any trouble. A contradictory set of feelings, so she just does as she's told, and sits. She really needs to stop over thinking everything.
"It's not the first time I've been questioned about myself, or been the subject of speculation and gossip. The people are at least civil, so that's a nice change from Faerun."
As long as no one tries to send her back, they can whisper about her all they like. She can't really blame anyone. The details of where she'd come from had been kept from the public at large, but enough people knew that the bare minimum had made it around. She wasn't from Arda, had no relation amount any of the elves to speak of, and had arrived at the side of the last exiled son of the House of Feanor. If her pain was reversed, she'd speculate too.
"I'm more concerned with how Maglor is adjusting, generally." Fussy and protective? You bet.
She nods, because it would be odd to refuse, even though her instinct was to say she didn't want to be any trouble. A contradictory set of feelings, so she just does as she's told, and sits. She really needs to stop over thinking everything.
"It's not the first time I've been questioned about myself, or been the subject of speculation and gossip. The people are at least civil, so that's a nice change from Faerun."
As long as no one tries to send her back, they can whisper about her all they like. She can't really blame anyone. The details of where she'd come from had been kept from the public at large, but enough people knew that the bare minimum had made it around. She wasn't from Arda, had no relation amount any of the elves to speak of, and had arrived at the side of the last exiled son of the House of Feanor. If her pain was reversed, she'd speculate too.
"I'm more concerned with how Maglor is adjusting, generally." Fussy and protective? You bet.
Nerdanel snorts in amusement.
"Belive me, I was little better, in my time! It just takes practice, really."
She nods, passing Syeira her cup and curling her hands around her owwn.
"If they aren't, you're to tell me." She says firmly. "Or Arafinwe. I promise, he won't bite! He's a sweetheart, and you wouldn't even know he's the King, most of the time. We can't stop them talking - we're all Noldor, and curious! - but they shouldn't ever be rude."
She smiles wanly.
"That, I can't answer. He sees you more than he sees me, I think. We're still feeling each other out a little."
"Belive me, I was little better, in my time! It just takes practice, really."
She nods, passing Syeira her cup and curling her hands around her owwn.
"If they aren't, you're to tell me." She says firmly. "Or Arafinwe. I promise, he won't bite! He's a sweetheart, and you wouldn't even know he's the King, most of the time. We can't stop them talking - we're all Noldor, and curious! - but they shouldn't ever be rude."
She smiles wanly.
"That, I can't answer. He sees you more than he sees me, I think. We're still feeling each other out a little."
"I'll remember that." She won't say a word, not unless someone out right threatens her. Even then, she's likely to deal with it herself first.
That isn't to say she doesn't feel the weight behind Nerdanel's order. It reminds her of Jaheira. No nonsense, protective, quietly fierce. She can see where Maglor got it, that silent promise of a storm on the horizon, if something he cares for is even looked at askance.
The subject of herself is always an awkward one. But her husband is one she can turn to easily. It's always easier to focus on others than herself.
"If I may, I'd advise you to perhaps be a little aggressive with him, in the vein of being together and reacquainting. He's very uncertain of his footing in all this. Assumes the worst, and treads exceptionally carefully. It could take literal ages for him to come around if he's left to his own devices."
The voice of experience.
That isn't to say she doesn't feel the weight behind Nerdanel's order. It reminds her of Jaheira. No nonsense, protective, quietly fierce. She can see where Maglor got it, that silent promise of a storm on the horizon, if something he cares for is even looked at askance.
The subject of herself is always an awkward one. But her husband is one she can turn to easily. It's always easier to focus on others than herself.
"If I may, I'd advise you to perhaps be a little aggressive with him, in the vein of being together and reacquainting. He's very uncertain of his footing in all this. Assumes the worst, and treads exceptionally carefully. It could take literal ages for him to come around if he's left to his own devices."
The voice of experience.
Edited 2018-08-13 17:29 (UTC)
Nerdanel will scold, if she finds out!
She smiles sadly, and very fondly. "Oh Makalaure. Forever putting off things you don't like, even now."
She nods at Syeira. "Thank you - I see I will have to try a little harder! You'll have to help me with that - I feel I hardly know him, any more. What makes him comfortable? What sort of foods does he enjoy these days?"
She smiles sadly, and very fondly. "Oh Makalaure. Forever putting off things you don't like, even now."
She nods at Syeira. "Thank you - I see I will have to try a little harder! You'll have to help me with that - I feel I hardly know him, any more. What makes him comfortable? What sort of foods does he enjoy these days?"
"Putting off things he will like just as often," she says into the rim of her teacup. It's an affectionate gripe.
"Well, you need to be direct. As in, if you want to hug him, or hold his hand, or the like, you should just do it. He'll sit there wanting, and convincing himself he's not allowed or not wanted. As for food, well we lived very simply. Anything here is much more luxurious than what we had, but we liked it."
She can't help the wistful smile that crosses her face. A simple life, yes, but a happy one. Not that she'd ever regret getting him to finally make the crossing, but for a few years, it was nearly like they had the world just to themselves.
"Honestly, I really don't think you can go wrong. He's missed you so much. He might seem shy, but that's just... he's always expecting the worst and thinking he deserves it. You just have to show him otherwise. He'll warm up again."
"Well, you need to be direct. As in, if you want to hug him, or hold his hand, or the like, you should just do it. He'll sit there wanting, and convincing himself he's not allowed or not wanted. As for food, well we lived very simply. Anything here is much more luxurious than what we had, but we liked it."
She can't help the wistful smile that crosses her face. A simple life, yes, but a happy one. Not that she'd ever regret getting him to finally make the crossing, but for a few years, it was nearly like they had the world just to themselves.
"Honestly, I really don't think you can go wrong. He's missed you so much. He might seem shy, but that's just... he's always expecting the worst and thinking he deserves it. You just have to show him otherwise. He'll warm up again."
Nerdanel laughs softly.
"Oh dear! He was always good at procrastination."
She nods. "I will then. And I wonder if he still likes the foods he used to when he was younger... it's been a while since I baked, but I'll see if I still remember how to make the honeycakes he used to enjoy."
Nerdanel smiles at her sympathetically.
"Not used to living like a princess? It does take a bit to get used to it - but no one will be offended if you sneak off for breaks. They're all used to it after Feanaro and I."
"Oh dear! He was always good at procrastination."
She nods. "I will then. And I wonder if he still likes the foods he used to when he was younger... it's been a while since I baked, but I'll see if I still remember how to make the honeycakes he used to enjoy."
Nerdanel smiles at her sympathetically.
"Not used to living like a princess? It does take a bit to get used to it - but no one will be offended if you sneak off for breaks. They're all used to it after Feanaro and I."
That mild question has her cheeks warming. For a few reasons, but the most present one is that she knows what she looks like. Even with new clothes, she tends to be plain and rough among the beautiful and majestic. She is fully aware she married up, but it's easy to forget just how far up.
The rest of the reasons are nicely tucked in her subconscious where she doesn't have to look at them.
"I'll never complain about the bed or the food, but it's rather obvious that I'm not exactly..." How does she say it without sounding like she's insulting Maglor's taste? Certainly she thinks she got the better end of the deal between them, and wouldn't trade it for the world, but there was no mistaking that he'd picked a rather... underwhelming bride. (At least from where she was standing).
"I'm not of noble stock. It's so easy here. There's so much. Not that I was poor, but there wasn't really much space for luxury, when everything I owned, I carried. I doubt I'll ever get used to it."
The rest of the reasons are nicely tucked in her subconscious where she doesn't have to look at them.
"I'll never complain about the bed or the food, but it's rather obvious that I'm not exactly..." How does she say it without sounding like she's insulting Maglor's taste? Certainly she thinks she got the better end of the deal between them, and wouldn't trade it for the world, but there was no mistaking that he'd picked a rather... underwhelming bride. (At least from where she was standing).
"I'm not of noble stock. It's so easy here. There's so much. Not that I was poor, but there wasn't really much space for luxury, when everything I owned, I carried. I doubt I'll ever get used to it."
Nerdanel reaches over to pat her hand comfortingly.
"It's odd, isn't it? You go from no one important to suddenly all eyes on you. And for you, it's doubly so, I imagine, as this isn't your world at all! But my dear, you do better than I think you think you do. And my dear Makalaure would never wish you to be unhappy - so tell him so, if things get too much. People forget sometimes that my Feanaro wasn't the only restless one. We chose a life away from the palace as much for my sensibilities as his."
She squeezes her hand.
"And don't think being noble means you can't do your own thing! I still work, as you can see. Arafinwe has his gardens, Earwen still sails. If you want to go out and explore the world rather than being confined to the palace, then go! We're Noldor, we understand restlessness."
"It's odd, isn't it? You go from no one important to suddenly all eyes on you. And for you, it's doubly so, I imagine, as this isn't your world at all! But my dear, you do better than I think you think you do. And my dear Makalaure would never wish you to be unhappy - so tell him so, if things get too much. People forget sometimes that my Feanaro wasn't the only restless one. We chose a life away from the palace as much for my sensibilities as his."
She squeezes her hand.
"And don't think being noble means you can't do your own thing! I still work, as you can see. Arafinwe has his gardens, Earwen still sails. If you want to go out and explore the world rather than being confined to the palace, then go! We're Noldor, we understand restlessness."
She's so kind. It's relieving and comforting, and Syeira isn't sure when she might truly become accustomed to such acceptance. Even after all this time away from her own world, the casualness still surprises her.
"It's not exactly odd. I've experienced it before. Once I only wished to become unremarkable, and the solitude with Maglor was soothing. But as long as no one comes for me with torches and pitch forks, I don't really mind.
I think it's more the.... the having of things. Not just things, but such extravagant things. I was never destitute, but you all live in such grandeur. I feel rather out of place. Like a weed in a rose garden."
"It's not exactly odd. I've experienced it before. Once I only wished to become unremarkable, and the solitude with Maglor was soothing. But as long as no one comes for me with torches and pitch forks, I don't really mind.
I think it's more the.... the having of things. Not just things, but such extravagant things. I was never destitute, but you all live in such grandeur. I feel rather out of place. Like a weed in a rose garden."
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