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As the years have rolled on Nerdanel's fire has grown quieter and sadder. With every tale of death and woe, she withdraws further away from society, hiding behind the protection of the eccentric artist.
She always has a smile for her family, is always welcoming, but it is rare indeed now to see her at functions and parties and after the War of Wrath she no longer comes to Court.
When Arafinwe comes she ushers him in to sit down and makes him tea. Indeed she is pouring him a cup when he says that.
For a long moment she freezes, and then just before the cup can overflow she sets the pot down with a sharp noise.
"Surely you must have misheard" she says, almost lightly. "I am sure I would only be an imposition."
She always has a smile for her family, is always welcoming, but it is rare indeed now to see her at functions and parties and after the War of Wrath she no longer comes to Court.
When Arafinwe comes she ushers him in to sit down and makes him tea. Indeed she is pouring him a cup when he says that.
For a long moment she freezes, and then just before the cup can overflow she sets the pot down with a sharp noise.
"Surely you must have misheard" she says, almost lightly. "I am sure I would only be an imposition."
She'd promised, in the end, to Sail one day. In the end, it had been Elrond asking her to come with him when he left Middle-Earth. She'd watched the shores as the ship sailed, saw her uncle watching, singing them off one last time.
Setting foot in Valinor is an experience of its own, and she'd drawn all the poise of being who and what she is about her.
And then Canien...slipped away. The hustle and bustle of the port cries of crowds that she's not used to. It takes...a while. Before she hears of where one relative is. A relative she doubts even knows of her existence - or has her father been reborn?
She thinks not. No. She knows he hasn't. The lack of him even here is felt as a sore to her heart. But she knows she must seek his mother out. Introduce herself...
Properly.
So she brings a few tools with her. In a basket she'd weaved herself, as her father had taught her. She knows that Elrond had sent a letter just ahead of her, but not what her uncle's fosterling might have said.
All she can do now, now that she's ridden all the way...is to knock. And wait.
Setting foot in Valinor is an experience of its own, and she'd drawn all the poise of being who and what she is about her.
And then Canien...slipped away. The hustle and bustle of the port cries of crowds that she's not used to. It takes...a while. Before she hears of where one relative is. A relative she doubts even knows of her existence - or has her father been reborn?
She thinks not. No. She knows he hasn't. The lack of him even here is felt as a sore to her heart. But she knows she must seek his mother out. Introduce herself...
Properly.
So she brings a few tools with her. In a basket she'd weaved herself, as her father had taught her. She knows that Elrond had sent a letter just ahead of her, but not what her uncle's fosterling might have said.
All she can do now, now that she's ridden all the way...is to knock. And wait.
"I'm busy!" Comes the exasperated cry from inside, and then footsteps, and Nerdanel opens the door, hands and hair and clothes all white with plaster dust.
"Arafinwe, I already told you... oh!" She stops mid tirade and blinks at Canien.
"Your pardon." She says slowly. "Do I... know you?"
"Arafinwe, I already told you... oh!" She stops mid tirade and blinks at Canien.
"Your pardon." She says slowly. "Do I... know you?"
...Yep.
So very like her father in the midst of one of his creations. Canien fights the sudden flash of loss and affection that clash horribly in her heart. She has her grandmother's hair, she absently notices. Just the same shade as her own mother and her father.
She presses a hand lightly over her heart and bows slightly, unable to look away. "Lord Elrond might have sent you a message, informing you of my arrival? I am Canien." And her accent is just like Caranthir's.
"I brought tools as a gift. May I enter?"
So very like her father in the midst of one of his creations. Canien fights the sudden flash of loss and affection that clash horribly in her heart. She has her grandmother's hair, she absently notices. Just the same shade as her own mother and her father.
She presses a hand lightly over her heart and bows slightly, unable to look away. "Lord Elrond might have sent you a message, informing you of my arrival? I am Canien." And her accent is just like Caranthir's.
"I brought tools as a gift. May I enter?"
Nerdanel frowns at her, somewhat confused.
"A letter? I suppose there might have been one. Elrond? He's the one my boys kidnapped. What business has he sending letters to me?"
Guess who rarely checks her mail. There's a reason Arafinwe and Earwen, and even Anarie learnt to just show up when they want something.
"Well, you're here, so come in. Tea?"
She looks around and clears space absently.
Nodding, Nerdanel steps back, beckoning her in.
"A letter? I suppose there might have been one. Elrond? He's the one my boys kidnapped. What business has he sending letters to me?"
Guess who rarely checks her mail. There's a reason Arafinwe and Earwen, and even Anarie learnt to just show up when they want something.
"Well, you're here, so come in. Tea?"
She looks around and clears space absently.
Nodding, Nerdanel steps back, beckoning her in.
"That is not how Elrond sees him," she answers with wry amusement. Just a slight twist of her lips. "He sees you as his grandmother.
"I Sailed with him."
Canien steps in and gently sets the basket down on the newly cleared space. Then, takes a breath as she turns back to the older woman.
"I...should introduce myself fully. For the first time in a very long time."
From around her neck, she removes the one thing she's carried with her since she'd seen her father last. One of his prized pins from even before reaching Middle-Earth. Carefully wrapped and protected, visible only when the thong it hangs from is removed from her neck. And holds it out to Nerdanel.
"I am Canien. The daughter of Carnistir Feanorion."
"I Sailed with him."
Canien steps in and gently sets the basket down on the newly cleared space. Then, takes a breath as she turns back to the older woman.
"I...should introduce myself fully. For the first time in a very long time."
From around her neck, she removes the one thing she's carried with her since she'd seen her father last. One of his prized pins from even before reaching Middle-Earth. Carefully wrapped and protected, visible only when the thong it hangs from is removed from her neck. And holds it out to Nerdanel.
"I am Canien. The daughter of Carnistir Feanorion."
"That..." Nerdanel blinks at that news in some consternation.
"Is not going to go down well."
Just saying.
Her hands fly up and her eyes lock onto the pin.
"Carnistir's daughter?" She reaches a trembling hand for the the pin and then looks up at Canien.
"My... granddaughter?"
"Is not going to go down well."
Just saying.
Her hands fly up and her eyes lock onto the pin.
"Carnistir's daughter?" She reaches a trembling hand for the the pin and then looks up at Canien.
"My... granddaughter?"
"It won't matter." Not to Elrond. "He is stubborn. And horribly kind."
And courageous. Canien has been hiding who she is for so long, it took effort to even say her beloved father's name. Much less her relation to him.
But watching Nerdanel - her grandmother - react...she draws in a careful, steadying breath, and nods just once. And gently sets the pin in the other's hand.
And courageous. Canien has been hiding who she is for so long, it took effort to even say her beloved father's name. Much less her relation to him.
But watching Nerdanel - her grandmother - react...she draws in a careful, steadying breath, and nods just once. And gently sets the pin in the other's hand.
Dangerous, for the son of Earendil and Elwing, but Nerdanel can't take time for that because Carnistir had a daughter. She has a granddaughter.
Her hand closes on the pin and she holds in close for a moment before reaching back for Canien proper.
"Oh, my dear. My Granddaughter. What joy is this?"
Her hand closes on the pin and she holds in close for a moment before reaching back for Canien proper.
"Oh, my dear. My Granddaughter. What joy is this?"
Dangerous. But so was everything in Middle-Earth. It was everywhere. Weighing everyone down just a little. Even Hobbits had learned to be wary.
It's in the past though. For her. Valinor is supposed to be peaceful. And so she'd revealed herself. Just once, so far. Verbally. To a known relative, with proof of her own identity.
And that one relative...is reaching for her. Accepting her. It makes her throat close up with sudden emotion. She doesn't pull away, though she's slow to step closer. When was the last embrace...? A friendly touch to shoulder or arm cannot compare!
But once Nerdanel has her arms around Canien...Canien shudders and curls into her grandmother.
It's in the past though. For her. Valinor is supposed to be peaceful. And so she'd revealed herself. Just once, so far. Verbally. To a known relative, with proof of her own identity.
And that one relative...is reaching for her. Accepting her. It makes her throat close up with sudden emotion. She doesn't pull away, though she's slow to step closer. When was the last embrace...? A friendly touch to shoulder or arm cannot compare!
But once Nerdanel has her arms around Canien...Canien shudders and curls into her grandmother.
Nerdanel hugs her tight and weeps softly with joy.
"Oh, my granddaughter. How glad I am to meet you!"
"Oh, my granddaughter. How glad I am to meet you!"
Canien can not-cry if she wants, Nerdanel has no such issues.
Pulling back a little she cups Canien's face and smiles at her.
"You look a bit like him, now that I know what to look for. You have his smile, too."
Pulling back a little she cups Canien's face and smiles at her.
"You look a bit like him, now that I know what to look for. You have his smile, too."
She hasn't really had the luxury of letting her guard down. Not since she was a child and even then she was learning how to defend herself. How to fight. How to protect others.
Canien covers her grandmother's hands on her face, studying the other just as much. And yes, that's a smile right from Caranthir!
"I look like both of my parents. But enough like the other that...I could pass as someone else's child. Father's idea." Her stubborn, protective, loving father.
Canien covers her grandmother's hands on her face, studying the other just as much. And yes, that's a smile right from Caranthir!
"I look like both of my parents. But enough like the other that...I could pass as someone else's child. Father's idea." Her stubborn, protective, loving father.
"He was trying to protect you."
Nerdanel breathes and smiles, shakily.
"My brave boy. Who was your mother? No tale tells of Caranthir's wedding. He must have been trying to protect her too."
Nerdanel breathes and smiles, shakily.
"My brave boy. Who was your mother? No tale tells of Caranthir's wedding. He must have been trying to protect her too."
"Always," she agrees quietly. "Everything he taught me was to protect me, or be useful." And she's never been one for idle hands, which her hands will show when touched. Sword. Bow. Weaving. Surviving.
Canien nods. "She was called Haleth. A mortal. Only her clan attended the wedding in their custom. It was not spoken of. But..." her gaze dip, and there's a bit of a shy smile, odd on her lips.
"His brothers weren't told, but they all seemed to find ways to help me, to teach me. None of us spoke of why."
Canien nods. "She was called Haleth. A mortal. Only her clan attended the wedding in their custom. It was not spoken of. But..." her gaze dip, and there's a bit of a shy smile, odd on her lips.
"His brothers weren't told, but they all seemed to find ways to help me, to teach me. None of us spoke of why."
"Haleth." She hums. "She was a mortal? Ah, my boys... I'm not surprised. They were always loyal to each other. I am not surprised to hear that."
She smiles, and draws Canien to sit down on a spare seat.
"Tell me about your mother? I will have no chance to meet her, I fear...."
She smiles, and draws Canien to sit down on a spare seat.
"Tell me about your mother? I will have no chance to meet her, I fear...."
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